being 19.

nineteen years. i've been alive for 19 years, i think this is the year that i realize i'm still young... very young, but i'm getting older. why do i think this? because this is the first year i don't feel older, even last year when i turned 18 i actually felt older. also, i didn't get up at 8am all jittery about it being my birthday, i wasn't overly excited like i was at 16, or 18. maybe it's because 19 is an age that doesn't mean a whole lot.

in the states 19 is just the year after 18, i can't officially do anything new or different then last year.
now if i lived in B.C. this would be my big year because now i can gamble&drink but that's not too exciting to me.
so here i am... 19, and no new rights/privileges. i have the right to buy porn, join the military, gamble in some indian casinos, and i can have a "real" credit card... same as last year. i still can't legally purchase or drink alcohol [unless i'm in canada or mexico] or rent a car or gamble at a fancy casino. not that I want to do any of those things, but the fact that i can't do those thing reminds me that although my country considers me legally an adult, i am not fully treated like one.

besides the fact i didn't wake up all jittery and excited to turn 19, i am glad God has blessed me with 19 healthy years of life thus far, i pray he continues to bless me this way as a healthy mind and body mean so much to me. so i will enjoy my birthday dinner and Moxies with Tyler, and then bullriding at Ralph's with friends, and weekend with Tyler in B.C. relaxing on the beautiful beaches [i pray the weather is nice, sunny, and hot!] and until next year!

p.s. it was so depressing to wake up this morning and not have a li'l bundle of fur curled up next to me with his head on my pillow like every other morning. i want haanz back, i wish that was an option. bleh!