When most people think of a relationship and love, they think, boyfriend/girlfriend-husband/wife type a deal. But over time I have realized how important family and friends and they way they support me are, and the real meaning of love from my significant other.
Love is support.
My family, for 18.5 years supported me in almost every way.
Financially, they paid for everything they could... cell phone, car insurance, clothes, gas, sports, violin, going out with friends, etc... now of course I helped pay for myself when I was working but I didn't start working until I was 16.
Spiritually, my grandmother is known as "the prayer warrior" of my home church she was kind and encouranging from all that I can remember. She made us raisin bread and the smell never left her house... homemade bread yum! and she told us bible stories as kids and had books and toys and an organ we always pounded away on. Then there's been my mom who has had me in church since I was born, even through my teenage years I'm glad that she sometimes had to force me to go, I would never be the strong christian I have grown into this past year if I didn't have her pushing me through the years.
Emotionally/Mentally, I think for the most part this came into play during school and sports. I think through elementary and middle school I played every sport I was offered except soccer and volleyball. I played teeball for 2 years then softball for 8 years as a pitcher and backup shortstop and feilder. I ran track for 2 seasons, played basketball for 4 years, joined the swimteam for 7 years, now I was good at all of these, some more then others but I have always been good at whatever I do and I really beleive that's because I always had family in the crowd and at home cheering me on telling me I could do it.
Physically, well of course this would be the hugs and kisses throughout the years, I believe every child no matter how old, deserves a good hug and kiss from their family, especially their parents, I believe this helps us soften up and enjoy life more, knowing you're loved.
My friends, new and old, have never been very consistant, and by this I mean my choice in friends over the years has been a rollercoaster. I've have friends who drink, who smoke, and those who don't, some who failed school, and jipped class and those who passed at the top of the class and never missed a day. But I believe all my friends through out the years have shaped me into who I am today. Now my friends haven't supported my financially or physically for the most part [besides having that shoulder to cry on] but I believe having emotional/mental and spiritual support from your friends is the best you can have!
Emotionally/Mentally, the one thing that I've noticed in almost every friend I've made and lost is that they have all been supportive in my choices in life. From me to marry my highschool sweetheart, to moving to Maui to help out with mission work, to coming home, to once again leaving again for Canada, they've been behind me the whole time.
I think one friend that really made a difference in my life was Nick Mongar, I don't know why exactly but he has always stuck out, I remember the first day of freshman year he sat behind me in every class and he would say "Hi! My name's Nick!" he would tell me about music and reccomend good CDs... I remember my first set of CDs I bought was Pretty Girls Make Graves, Cartel, Hellogoodbye, FOB, and Dashboard Confessional. Senior year, I remember him telling me he was proud to have a friend like me when he found out I was going to Maui to volunteer as a missionary. I don't think Nick would claim himself as a christian... maybe he would, but it was cool to know that even though we don't share all the same views that he was still supportive and thought what I was doing was something to be proud of in a friend.
Then there is my cousin Kate, who yes even though she's my cousin, she is one of my best friends, we have always been close maybe not always best friends but we've grown up together. I used to bite her, call her names and start fights with her, even called the cops on her because she had my toy, but as we've gotten older we've become even closer, and she never fails to ask me how I'm doing or what's up in my life while I'm away for months at a time, and she's there for me every time I come home. Me, her and a date to Jimmy Johns never fails.
It's friends like Nick and Kate who have said things that maybe they didn't think much of, but really their words were more then encouraging to me, and really helped me get through everything.
Spiritually, I only recently realized how important my friends in Christ are to me. I came home from Maui for a month then headed to Canada for a month and then back home to Iowa for a month before taking off again for Canada for 6 months[confused yet?]. I realized when I was home the friends I made at church, especially Kenzie&Ryan, my christian, bible thumping, Jesus loving, friends where there for me. I don't believe I really have any friends left from my highschool, none that I hang out with or talk to even once a week... and somehow I'm really ok with that. After living in Maui for 4 months then only being home for a total of 3 months before taking off for another 6 months I have realized my true freinds where the ones who welcomed me back every time with open arms and right away wanted to include me in all they do. They encourage me to follow God's will, and to never let my guard down, or let my morals slip. I couldn't ask for more in my friends.
Now, last but not least, I have also learned a lot about love and a relationship with a significant other, aka boyfriend.
LOVE when speaking in terms of a significant other should be the sum word of all support in one, and is something more meaningful and more special then a touch or a word out of our mouth. It is an ability and a feeling. We all have the ability to love someone special, and when we do the feeling of love can be self guided or spiritually guided. By this I mean I can love on my own, or I can let God guide my love. I believe when it comes to loving a guy [or if your a guy then say girl] that you can not truly love them unless you love the Lord first. I found this out first hand... I wasn't sure why God called me to Maui in May, and why I didn't feel called to stay [although I would have if I could have at the time] but over my time there I learned some very blunt lessons through trial and error you could say. I found out that Love from a guy has to be more then a physical type of support, in fact it shouldn't be physical at all.
LOVE from a guy should first be spiritual, guiding you in your relationship with the Lord and encouraging you to seek Him. Then emotional and mental, he should be willing to listen to you and understand you, wanting for you to be happy and think the best of yourself. Then physical... of course holding a Christian moral, never wanting to push you into temptation or an uncomfortable level.
God has shown me over the past 10 months that His own love is greater then all, and in doing so he has allowed me to be in a righteous relationship with a guy who is in love with the Lord first.
Am I saying my past relationships were pointless and the guys were horrible and didn't love the Lord... NO, because it takes TWO people to control a relationship and keep it Holy. My last boyfriend, many of you know him, is I believe more in love with the Lord now then ever before. What I am saying is that love is precious, holy, sacred when it comes to letting someone have your heart, and that the Lord should be the ultimate love, the one you give your whole heart to... before you love another.
"For the lessons learned in life are worthless if learned without a Godly foundation, without that foundation they will surely be forgotten."
with love.
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